Unhealthy Mentality & Our Children

As you might imagine, our children's health is very important to me, and not just in the physical sense.  To me, at least, being healthy also includes having a solid self-esteem no matter what size you are.

The truth is, everyone, that loving yourself and your body doesn't mean that we are not capable of seeing and accepting that perhaps our body isn't at its healthiest.  We should be able to love everything our body does, every single day.  It's that body - whether it's underweight, fit, overweight, big, small, round, pear shaped - that allows us to do things throughout our day that we really take for granted.

It's that body that allows you to stay or get in shape.

If you have a few "trouble" areas, guess what? Everyone does!  But there are two kinds of "trouble" areas; the kind you can change and the kind you cannot.  Simple truth.  There ARE things you CANNOT change.  If that's something you can't live with and want to go the cosmetic surgery route, that's a personal choice but, also, another blog.

For most of us who either don't want to go that route, or can't for whatever reason, our body's flaws is just something we have to accept.  I want you to see yourself and be able to ask, "Is this something I can change?", "Will it make me a better me, physically, mentally and emotionally?".  If the answers are "yes" then by all means, go for it!  Changing your body when it's for your well-being doesn't mean you don't love your body.  On the contrary, it means you love yourself and your body enough to recognize when change is necessary.

However, while we should be able to see those pounds creeping up on the belly (worst place to have fat because it's wrapped around your organs and can lead to diabetes, insulin resistance, cardiovascular disease, etc.), it's important to keep a healthy mentality.  When we begin to obsess about a number on a scale, get depression over it, beat ourselves up mentally and/or even hate our body, it is no longer healthy!  Our mental well-being is just as important and, at all times, we should be able to say, "My body isn't perfect but I love it for all it can do, all it will do and all it could do."

You might be wondering what all that has to do with our children and the answer is that it has a lot to do with our children.  How we see ourselves and how we see and describe others is what YOU are passing on to those young, innocent minds.  I really am so disturbed by this video on Yahoo! ( "Maggie Goes On A Diet" ) that I feel compelled to write how it made me feel.

If you don't want to go to the link, it's about a children's book about a little 14 year old girl who goes on a diet and becomes healthy and fit, joins soccer and becomes popular and famous.  While I get, and actually like, parts of the book, I just can't agree with the idea that telling young children that being thin is going to make them popular or famous. 

The video goes on with the journalist interviewing 5 & 6 year olds, shows them pictures, asks them which girl stands out and a little girls actually calls her "chubby wubby".  I just don't get how come, we as parents, actually TEACH our children to be so cruel.  I have to say, the word "fat" is not allowed up in this household.  And before anyone goes up in arms about why I consider "fat" a bad word, let me explain that what I consider bad is the context in which the word is usually used and I have found that if my daughters want to describe something to me (teddy bear, cat, what-have-you), there is almost always a better, more intellectual way of saying that the object/animal is big rather than just saying "it's fat".

With that said, I don't allow meanness at all.  There are many people, young and old, who struggle with being under-weight and actually get picked on, being called "anorexic", "stick", among other things.  It's just not nice to go on describing someones body in a non-complimentary manner as if we knew their health history.  So why would anyone teach their child to do that?

I've said this before in other blogs;  I am not a perfect parent but I know right from wrong and as soon as I could, I began to teach my child the very basic lesson of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."  I also sat down with them and explained that while many people who are too overweight are unhealthy, so are many people who are too underweight.  I explained that we cannot tell someones diet or lifestyle just by looking at them so it's really just better to not judge.  What if the person has an underlying medical condition?  What if the person has already taken steps to become healthier? But we can't tell so WHY judge? 

What we really gets me is that we can teach our children to be motivators, friends, caring, understanding human beings but because we, as adults, have such an unhealthy relationship with our own bodies, we have passed on a sort of hatred to our children towards other children who are "too skinny" or "too fat".  It has a horrible domino effect because, in case you didn't see the video I linked earlier, eating disorders amongst children is up 119%.  That same unhealthy relationship most have with their own body is being passed on to children 10 fold.  That's a sad truth I hope we can change.

It starts at home.

Measuring Up

“Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”

Over a year ago, November 2009, I began a journey of health, wellness & self discovery.  I recall many accomplishments because every Sunday, after 6 intense workout days, I'd take a break & measure myself.


Hips. Waist. Left thigh, Right thigh. Left arm. Right arm.


It's easy to not see the changes at first because you see yourself in the mirror every day & if you are anything like how I was, you'd undress for a shower, glance at yourself in the mirror & scrunch up your face, maybe shaking your head in bitter acceptance that, yes, that IS your body.


Over time, however, I'd see changes on PAPER showing that I'd lost an half an inch or an inch here, maybe there. Then, my clothes began to fit loosely.


 I even recall going to the store, picking clothes in a smaller size but, having both kids with me, I opted for just buying them.  There was no way I was an 8 or a small!  It hadn't even crossed my mind.  When I got home & tried on the clothes, I made an astonishing discovery: the clothes I had bought in a smaller size were too big.  What the heck?


The next day, I return with my purchases & this time decide to try the clothes on because, to be honest, I just didn't believe I was smaller despite having put on the clothes & feeling it too big!!  It's amazing how you train your brain to NOT BELIEVE IN YOU that it actually holds you back from pursuing goals.  That is what was happening because despite working out, despite all the sweat & even tears I'd shed over trying to shed the fat, in my mind, I was limiting myself to "average", not "fit". 


My mind no longer believed I could be anything other than just okay & it had become so ingrained in my daily thinking that I didn't even CONSIDER a smaller size could fit me.  But, alas, there I was in the fitting room & as I prepared for the size 8 jeans to stop somewhere around the thighs, they slipped all the way up.  No struggle, no pulling...just slipped right on.  I actually wanted to cry.  I believe I did like an Ashley Simpson jig.


Yes, I have reached many mini-goals throughout my journey.  A mini-goal...the biggest of the mini-goals to be exact....I actually reached this past July.  See, every time I measured myself around the belly area, I'd check to see how far away I was from a certain number & over the months, I've gotten closer & closer.  Sometime early this year, I hit a plateau & it was just STUCK.  Stuck an inch away.  It just would not budge.  I felt defeated at times but only for a moment & then I'd just keep at it.  About 2 months ago, I stopped measuring myself every week.  I decided that not seeing the number move was depressing me & I didn't need it because I was planting good seeds, so to speak. 


I measured myself a month ago & the number finally moved.  I was excited, thinking FINALLY!  Geez.  But I decided to keep the measuring to a minimum.  I love working out, I love feeling great; there are other benefits to my healthy living than the number on a measuring tape.  Of course, while this is true, I am not one to give up on goals.


Last week I measured myself.  The measuring tape did not land on the number.  It surpassed it.


I was pleasantly surprised because, no, I didn't go in there thinking "this is the day!" but my way of thinking had changed over time because I believed it.  I wanted to do my jig again but I believed it because it was one of the reasons I had been busting my butt!


Just another mini-goal reached but I keep reaching, creating NEW goals because my harvest is one I want to reap for the rest of my life.  I will keep planting each day new seeds.  Will you?