One small step

"The size of your next step doesn't matter, what matters is the direction."

Several years ago when I last had a gym membership, I was told that for every one person I got to enroll, I would, in turn, receive a month for free.  I thought, "sweet deal!" because, in all honesty, I loved that gym.  What was there to NOT like? They had free monitored childcare, televisions in every direction & angle imaginable so I could watch what I wanted (one channel being the childcare room).  I had free access to all areas of the gym including the pool, jacuzzi, sauna, women's machine room as well as ALL fitness classes (I took belly dance).  And the price was about what all other gyms were charging too.

Who's NOT going to want to join me, I wondered.

As I began to invite friends and family, even people I'd small talk with, I'd mention all these great qualities & amenities; how I was losing weight & fitting into old jeans again.  I'd get great comments about how motivated it made them feel, how they were meaning to get a gym membership because they "really need it".  Great!  It was a win-win so I was ecstatic that (a) I was going to have workout buddies & (b) that I was going to get a free month in return.

But of course, as days passed, then weeks, I'd ask them, "So when are you coming by?".  Most would answer, "Oh, I'm too busy these days" or "I don't have the money right now".  Excuse after excuse after excuse.  It upset me but not because of the free month I was missing out on (really), but because these were not reasons...they were EXCUSES.  Not even well-thought out excuses. Just simple, "I've given up" excuses!  They might disagree on the meaning of said excuses but I know what half-ass "trying" looks like!  I invented half-assed "trying"!

When you tell yourself or "admit" (whatever) you don't have time, what you are really saying is that YOU ARE NOT IMPORTANT.  If you were important to yourself, if you cared about your well-being, if you cared MORE about YOU...you'd FIND the time.

Sometimes my husband likes to criticize and say that the only thing in my schedule that's a sure-thing is my workout session.  I don't like that because it's not true; I find the time for many other things but he's also right about my workout session.  There's been times that he's tried to get me to not do it or he gives me other "chores".  He wasn't very happy when right before his bedtime, when I got un-busy, I changed into my workout clothes & jumped, squatted & jacked right next to the bed.  I wasn't lying when I had told him, "That it's going to get done, it's going to get done."

I'm currently on a school break but I have ran a small business, volunteered at my daughters school, attended classes, remained the ever-present Stepford wife AND worked out.  Many others do it as well, I'm not trying to toot my own horn here.  I sat down & I actually created a schedule for myself to follow because, it's true, that unless I have that to guide me, I would have too much to do (in my eyes)!  But with a schedule, it was not impossible.

My schedule (Dec. 2010)

When all those people finally said "I'm not going to the gym", I realized that a whole lot of people really mean to, want to or need to go workout....but few rarely ever do.

You can sit there, write goals, plan workouts with friends or even print a schedule out but none of it matters unless you take the first step to reaching those goals & working out.

You don't have to hit the gym running, doing bent over rows with 20 pounders or doing 200 lunges as if you were Kim Kardashian....but go.  Take a step, any step...it doesn't have to be a big one.

It just has to be a step.

Inspiration...

"Surround yourself with those who won't compete with you,but will revel in your success and somehow see your ascent as a reflection of their own possibilities. & don't forget that success is not just cash in the bank or degrees on the wall; it's living out your purpose in life."

I almost want to apologize for not writing but, as of now, I've no subscribers. That doesn't bother me though.  As I've mentioned (perhaps in another blog), I've decided that being able to write is therapeutic for me & even if it means it's just to myself, it makes me feel good.

One of my best friends put the above quote as her status on FB & it resonates with me SO much.  That is exactly, 100% how I feel friends should be.  I really don't think I expect too much from a friendship & perhaps I shouldn't expect anything but I can't help it.  I'm the kind of person that loves & is protective of friends.  I don't really like acquaintances, much less the "frenemie".  I don't believe in "keep your friends close but your enemies closer" thing. No.  The people I have in my life, I want to have real bonds with.  Otherwise, to me, it's pointless & a waste of perfectly good energy both for me & for the other person.

When I offer my friendship, I admit, I expect some in return.  Not in favors or anything of that sort but if I can't find comfort in a friend when I'm feeling down, I question whether that's a friendship at all.  To make it clear, I also don't like "yes" friends. I like realness.  I'm a conservative but some of my best friends are way more liberal.  When it comes to decisions or plans I have, I can respect the friend that tells me their thoughts on the matter without beating around the bush.  I'm not a perfect human being & because of that, I am grateful that I have a few friends that can call me on my bull.

To me, friends should be inspiration not competition.  I've tried many times to open myself up to other women, to be there for them & to allow them to be there for me but, most of the time, I'm met with one-uppers.  These people don't really wish you well in my mind & I don't see it as "healthy competition" either.  It's really very difficult to find friends that you can really depend on.

So what does all this have to do with fitness?

Everything.

I mostly use my FB for posting about the days workout plan, my menu ideas & to inspire but I also like to hear my friends plans, ideas & to GET inspired.  I find that people that allow you to inspire them but that also inspire you are the type of people that help you thrive.  Even if you have a one upper in your life who, okay, might push you a bit to beat a record or whatever, it's not as great as having found the motivation positively.  You're doing it for the wrong reason.  Some might say, "So? It's getting done!". That may be but, eventually & gradually, they'll be something else that person did that now YOU want to do. & something else. & something else. & another thing. & pretty soon, your goals & not your own.

If you want to feel good about your outcome, your source has to be a positive one.

Today I posted a picture of my workout plan for the next 3 weeks & a friend posted about how she needed help getting organized like me so, naturally, I offered to help.  She replied & said that would be great, mentioning that I was "truly an inspirational woman".  I was so pleasantly surprised by that because she works out regularly, looks great & I didn't think I really had anything to offer her but she went on to say that our FB feedback was always motivating.  It made me feel great.  &, really, the wonderful thing is that it's true for me as well!  Her updates or pictures have on many occasions motivated ME positively.  That's the kind of friendship I cherish because we "feed" each other with snippets of inspiration rather than negative competition.  She encourages me some days, I encourage her some other days but, either way, we're always wishing one another the best.

So now I encourage you.

I encourage you to rid yourself of people who want to constantly one up you, who you feel bring even the slightest negativity into your life.  I know you may not be able to rid yourself of all of them (my husband is, at times, the negative force) but perhaps that's a good thing in it's own way.  I'm not really talking about kicking your family to curb here.  This is more concerning acquaintances you keep on FB, people you small talk with at work or school.  If they're not too close to you & aren't bringing anything positive into your life, be done with it.  Be mature about the matter but be done with it.

This is YOUR life.  Run it however you want but I think we can all agree if at least on ONE thing: positive thoughts produce positive results.

Best of luck.