"Surround yourself with those who won't compete with you,but will revel in your success and somehow see your ascent as a reflection of their own possibilities. & don't forget that success is not just cash in the bank or degrees on the wall; it's living out your purpose in life."
I almost want to apologize for not writing but, as of now, I've no subscribers. That doesn't bother me though. As I've mentioned (perhaps in another blog), I've decided that being able to write is therapeutic for me & even if it means it's just to myself, it makes me feel good.
One of my best friends put the above quote as her status on FB & it resonates with me SO much. That is exactly, 100% how I feel friends should be. I really don't think I expect too much from a friendship & perhaps I shouldn't expect anything but I can't help it. I'm the kind of person that loves & is protective of friends. I don't really like acquaintances, much less the "frenemie". I don't believe in "keep your friends close but your enemies closer" thing. No. The people I have in my life, I want to have real bonds with. Otherwise, to me, it's pointless & a waste of perfectly good energy both for me & for the other person.
When I offer my friendship, I admit, I expect some in return. Not in favors or anything of that sort but if I can't find comfort in a friend when I'm feeling down, I question whether that's a friendship at all. To make it clear, I also don't like "yes" friends. I like realness. I'm a conservative but some of my best friends are way more liberal. When it comes to decisions or plans I have, I can respect the friend that tells me their thoughts on the matter without beating around the bush. I'm not a perfect human being & because of that, I am grateful that I have a few friends that can call me on my bull.
To me, friends should be inspiration not competition. I've tried many times to open myself up to other women, to be there for them & to allow them to be there for me but, most of the time, I'm met with one-uppers. These people don't really wish you well in my mind & I don't see it as "healthy competition" either. It's really very difficult to find friends that you can really depend on.
So what does all this have to do with fitness?
Everything.
I mostly use my FB for posting about the days workout plan, my menu ideas & to inspire but I also like to hear my friends plans, ideas & to GET inspired. I find that people that allow you to inspire them but that also inspire you are the type of people that help you thrive. Even if you have a one upper in your life who, okay, might push you a bit to beat a record or whatever, it's not as great as having found the motivation positively. You're doing it for the wrong reason. Some might say, "So? It's getting done!". That may be but, eventually & gradually, they'll be something else that person did that now YOU want to do. & something else. & something else. & another thing. & pretty soon, your goals & not your own.
If you want to feel good about your outcome, your source has to be a positive one.
Today I posted a picture of my workout plan for the next 3 weeks & a friend posted about how she needed help getting organized like me so, naturally, I offered to help. She replied & said that would be great, mentioning that I was "truly an inspirational woman". I was so pleasantly surprised by that because she works out regularly, looks great & I didn't think I really had anything to offer her but she went on to say that our FB feedback was always motivating. It made me feel great. &, really, the wonderful thing is that it's true for me as well! Her updates or pictures have on many occasions motivated ME positively. That's the kind of friendship I cherish because we "feed" each other with snippets of inspiration rather than negative competition. She encourages me some days, I encourage her some other days but, either way, we're always wishing one another the best.
So now I encourage you.
I encourage you to rid yourself of people who want to constantly one up you, who you feel bring even the slightest negativity into your life. I know you may not be able to rid yourself of all of them (my husband is, at times, the negative force) but perhaps that's a good thing in it's own way. I'm not really talking about kicking your family to curb here. This is more concerning acquaintances you keep on FB, people you small talk with at work or school. If they're not too close to you & aren't bringing anything positive into your life, be done with it. Be mature about the matter but be done with it.
This is YOUR life. Run it however you want but I think we can all agree if at least on ONE thing: positive thoughts produce positive results.
Best of luck.
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